Weasels. Why did it have to be weasels?
| At least, the Connecticut branch of the Patrol. These are the ferrets my SO and I have owned, past
and present. Each is (or was) a unique personality and all are loved. Ferrets are great pets, but not for everybody.
If you think you'd like living with short-legged kleptomaniacs that have the eternal
curiosity of a two-year-old
and a penchant for redecorating (everything really belongs on the floor), you just might like being owned by ferrets.
But if you do ever decide you want one, please educate yourself about them first; read books, talk
to ferret owners, and make certain that a vet in your area is familiar with ferrets. Remember--you're committing
yourself to taking care of another life. You may be wondering why, if these are ferrets, I'm calling them "weasels." It's just an endearment used by many ferret owners (another is "carpet sharks"). While domestic ferrets are members of the same family as weasels--as are otters, mink, skunks, fishers, martens, and wolverines--they are not wild animals that have been recently tamed. A black-footed ferret is a wild animal; the ferrets you see in a pet shop are descended from animals that have been domesticated for centuries. Unlike many cats or dogs, ferrets do not seem to be able to go feral if set loose in the wild. Getting lost--or being dumped--is a death sentence to a domestic ferret. They don't know how to hunt ( mine don't even realize meat is edible; they think it's a gross joke if I offer them some) and won't have the time to learn before they either starve, die of exposure, or become a snack for some wild animal. |
| And here are my guys: First came Tam Lin Smurfbane (three kills to his credit), a feisty albino who had a thing for stealing socks, anything leather, wallets, and a host of other things that weren't nailed down. Tam died on Christmas Eve in '93, two months to the day after Nikki. |
| Nikki was the next to join us; she was really my husband's ferret. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find a decent picture of just her. The little face peering out of the tube is Nikki; the other ferret is Chaos. Nikki was a lovely sable lady and ruled Tam and Chaos with an iron paw despite being about half their size. She was Chaos's lady-love, so I guess it's appropriate that he's in the picture with her. |
| Chaos Blubberbutt came to us as a rescue. He was easily the most loving of the ferrets we've had so far. If I was reading in the ferrets' room, he would come and sleep by my feet or curl up in my lap to sack out. I think he's the one we miss the most. |
| T.D. (short for Total Disaster) was with us for far too short a time. He developed lymphosarcoma a little before his fourth birthday and we had to have him put to sleep; there was nothing that could be done for him. When he first came to us, I despaired of ever getting him civilized, but he turned out to be a real people weasel. |
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| On Hallowe'en night, 1998, Mayhem joined his brother T.D. over the Rainbow Bridge. Together they
were known as the Barbarian Brothers and kept us laughing with their manic brand of romping . Mayhem outlived his
brother by only 5 months. He was our "gumby weasel" and a sweet, sweet boy. He's also the ferret who
appears with me in the author photo on the dust jacket of The Last Dragonlord. Here he is enjoying bit of sunbathing: |
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| We lost Havoc in May of 2001; she had to
be put to sleep a couple of days after the wedding. Despite
chronic illness (she'd never really recovered from a bad case of ECE,
a particularly nasty gastrointestinal disease that strikes ferrets,
and had insulinomas), she was Da Boss in the weasels' room. Even
Problem, big as he is, never argued with her.
We still miss her, especially Sam (Havoc was a real Daddy's Girl). But she lived to a ripe old age for a ferret; she was a little over nine years old when she died, and that was three more years than we'd thought we'd have with her when she caught that damned ECE. |
| The next picture is of
Trouble. She was found as a stray and taken
to a dog pound. Sam heard about her, bailed her out, and brought her home as one of my birthday presents. (The
other was a 12 week cardio-kickboxing course; since I'd been rather a slug after injuring both Achilles tendons
a couple of years ago, I was hurting in the beginning. This led to the joke that all I got for my
birthday that year was pain and Trouble.) As you can see, Trouble looked quite a bit like T.D.; our guess is that this was a family resemblance; judging by the tattoos in their ears, we think they were from the same commercial breeder In our household at least, Hallowe'en seems to be a bad time for the weasels. Trouble died suddenly after a brief illness just a few days before it. I really, really miss her kisses and her "cute" poses. (We swore she practiced the most fetching "pick me up" looks in front of a mirror somewhere--how else could she get them so perfect?) |
| Meet Problem, aka Mr. Meatball, Mr. Moose,
the Moosicle, Hunga Munga, Chunky Monkey--you get the idea. We got him
in the spring of 2001. He's had a wonderful time living up to his
name--the real one, that is. When I think of the heart attacks we had
when he got loose and conned Trouble into crawling into the hole where the
floor boards had been ripped up in another room... Problem is the lighter ferret with the black tail facing you. That's Trouble sleeping with him. They became great buddies once she learned to give him back as good as she got; the Meatball is pretty rambunctious. Since we got him, Problem has gotten considerably lighter with each coat shedding; he was once much darker than this (see picture below), and is now almost completely white even though he's still pretty young. |
| Our newest ferret is
Snowball. (No, we didn't name her). She came to us as a
rescue. And although she's the newest, she's also the oldest; we're
not quite certain how old, but we think she's about five or six years old.
She's very sweet and a very good sport--she has to be to put up with the
Moose. Here's a picture of her just waking up: |
Rogues Gallery
Some more pictures of the "kids"
Chaos as snugglebunny
Tam earning his keep
Mayhem taking time to smell the flowers
| Now here's a real gallery of rogues: Sam and the original members of our Weasel Patrol. In Sam's arms are, from left to right, Tam Lin Smurfbane, Nikki, and Chaos Blubberbutt, who's showing off why he got that nickname. |
Trouble being a kissy-girl.
This next one calls for an explanation: one day while I was at work and Sam was at home, I got an e-mail that said "We have a Problem with the printer." No other explanation, just an attached file. With visions of dead printers and money flying out the window, I opened the file. This is what I found:
Sam was right; we had a Problem with the printer.
If you're interested in learning more about ferrets, this is a good place to start: |
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